Archive for March, 2006

Geek Links Vol. 3 (The Revolution Edition)

If your geek interests do not include video games, especially Nintendo-made ones, I apologize for this week’s collection of links. However, last week’s Game Developer’s Conference provided some exciting news about the Revolution, a console that is burning up the Net and making nerds everywhere salivate. For every three or four official PS3 annoucements, there’s one Revolution tidbit or rumor that overshadows them all, similar to how the DS continues to overshadow the PSP. God bless Nintendo!

Revolution to Play Genesis and TurboGrafx-16 Games!

Nintendo Go?

Revolution’s Virtual Console = iTunes

Sexiest Console Ever?

South Park Vs. Scientology Round 2

Another Reason to Hate France

Importers Will Love the PS3

From Weezer’s Buddy Holly to Tetris

No New Futurama After All (Will They Make Up Their Minds?)

You Tube Trouble?

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What Lives in a Tree, Has No Mouth or Eyes, and Is Sometimes Mistaken for a Crackhead?

I’ve mentioned before that I have no desire for Colaspot to become a “Hey, check out the latest funny video making its rounds on the internet” site. And yet, every now and then, something fascinating comes along (like the Pokemon Kid) that I must share. While St. Patrick’s Day has come and gone, this video will always be timely in my eyes, as it is a clear reminder of why we should be in a constant state of fear over the well-being of mankind. Before I go any further, please stop what you’re doing and take a look at this news clip from an NBC affiliate in Mobile, Ala-BAM-a! Go on - I’ll wait.

You done? Great. Here are some quick reactions: 1.) “Who all seen the leprechaun? Say YEEEAAHHH!” Careful sir, you’ll frighten the leprechaun away with you disdain for the English language. 2.) “My theory is it’s casting a shadow from the other limb.” Look, as preposterous as it is for a leprechaun to exist and climb a tree, I find it more plausable than the shadow of a tree limb looking like a leprechaun. 3.) As funny as it is, doesn’t it seem odd to hear “crackhead” on the news? 4.) Was the sketch drawn by someone who has a rare disorder that makes them unable to see noses and mouths? And newscasters- no need to call it an amateur sketch. I’m pretty sure “amateur” is an unnecessary adjective. 5.) Even if I go along with the idea that a leprechaun lives in a tree in Mobile, Alabama, I can’t overlook that given a leprechaun’s small stature, that’s one enormous flute. 6.) The leprechaun only comes out at night? Special gear to protect against attacks? It’s a leprechaun, folks, not a midget-werewolf. 7.) Clearly, that last man wants some gold.

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Et Tu, Flickr?

Given the long hiatus of Jonathan and Bryan on this page (they’ve joined a cargo cult), I like to give shout-outs to their current whereabouts from time to time. You might have noticed this week’s Geek Links has a link to Jonathan’s blog. Now it’s Bryan’s turn. Check out his dismay over the possible downfall of Flickr, the once great digital photo sharing website. If you are a Flickr user, make sure you share your outrage with them.

And while you’re checking out SAW, tell Bryan to start posting on Colaspot again!

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Capitol Center Shooter Should Have Taken Blue Pill

What a horrible way to reenact the lobby scene from The Matrix. At least Neo turned himself in.

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Geek Links Vol. 2

Sorry for the lack of geektastic links last week, but Geek Links is back with a list of the latest nerd news from the Web. Enjoy! And feel free to email us links for next week’s installment.

Futurama Returns to TV!

Lost Creators Hate Reruns, Too

The Death of Katamari?

Halo Fans Are About to Become Even Nerdier

Halo 3 Lies

Confirmed: Next Zelda Using Revolution Controller

Need a Jonathan Fix?

Star Wars on TV

Pixar’s Next Masterpiece

South Park Vs. Scientology

PS3 + Hard Drive

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Email Boot Camp

Reading 43 Folders has the instant effect of making me feel like the master of my domain. I am so smart. SMRT.

This week, Merlin’s been offering up a series of posts on how to take control of your email inbox. Some examples: do not check your email more often than every 20 minutes; respond quickly (and succinctly); and become good friends with the delete button.

Admit it: you jump when your mail program goes ding. You have messages from 1999 sitting at the bottom of your inbox, and folders you haven’t peeped into since two jobs ago. You need this advice. Bad. Part of you is crying “Yes, YES!” like you’re the star of the next Herbal Essences commercial.

Merlin is the undisputed heavyweight champion of all things productive. He may also be the snarkiest, most entertaining writer on the Interweb.

“If you want to stop being part of the dolorous majority whose ass is getting kicked by email every day, it’s time to get serious about improving your habits.”

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Drive Me Crazy: The Mythical Turn Signal

Drive Me Crazy is an ongoing driver’s education series designed to prevent Columbia’s moronic drivers from killing each other. If you feel the topics discussed in this series are too obvious for any reasonably intelligent person with a driver’s license, you’ve clearly never driven in Columbia.

Directional Signal - n. 1.) One of two lights on the front and rear of an automotive vehicle that flash to indicate the direction of a turn. Also called turn signal or blinker. 2.) A device that is worthless when first applied during a turn or one second before a turn. 3.) Magical lights on cars that actually allow turns to be anticipated; do not exist in Columbia.

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Bad News for Sony, Good News for Microsoft, Fantastic News for Nintendo

For the past several months, Sony has been the ostrich of the gaming industry. Amid reports of chip shortages, blue-ray technology hold-ups, and confessions from third party developers that there’s no way the Playstation 3 will launch anytime soon, Sony has kept its head in the sand and stood by its original plan for a spring launch (as in this spring, as in just a few weeks). Just before Sony’s insistence could be labeled complete insanity, the Nihon Keizai Shimbun newspaper is reporting that the PlayStation 3 is being delayed until “early November” in Japan due to complications with the AACS copy protection system being implemented into the Blu-ray specification. And yes, Sony has confirmed the report.

Seeing as the Ps3 won’t hit Japan until November, a holiday launch in the U.S. seems far-fetched. Sony’s only chance would be turning around a week or two later and releasing the system in the U.S. or having a simultaneous worldwide launch, which doesn’t seem probable give the usual shortage of launching systems and the PS3’s already admitted problems. While this will help Microsoft’s Xbox 360 establish an even larger user base through the end of the year, the announcement is especially good news for Nintendo, as it means the Revolution will most likely be the only console launching this holiday season. Considering Sony’s console market domination, this gives the Revolution a chance to shine instead of being ignored by rabid Christmas shoppers whose kids can’t stop whining about how much they want a PS3. And let’s not forget that Sony is still announcing major PS2 titles for next year, like this week’s God of War 2 announcement. On a side note, having just completed the amazing God of War, I’ll buy the sequel even if it doesn’t hit the PS2 until the PS9 is already out (remember that great commercial?).

Of course maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Sony will pull off a miracle and actually launch the PS3 in time for holiday shopping. No matter what happens, it’d be naive to say the PS3 is doomed if it doesn’t launch in time; Sony could release the system in 2010 and people would still line up to buy it. However, this delay could allow their competitors to play catch up. And who knows? Maybe this means consumers will actually give Nintendo’s funky Revolution controller a chance.

For more PS3 speculation, check out this interesting article over at 1up that examines whether Sony’s silence is a sign of confidence or madness.

Update: Sony held a business conference in Japan today and announced more details on the PS3 along with some PSP related announcements, which you can read here. Not only will the PS3 come out the gates with a 60GB hard drive (which is upgradeable) with Linux preinstalled, but it also will have an online service called the PlayStation Network Platform, which will feature functions such as matchmaking, messaging, rankings, friends lists, voice/video chat, in-game shopping, and game downloads to the hard drive. Best of all, the service will be free (although so is the basic version of Xbox Live, and it’s pretty worthless). The biggest surprise? A simultaneous launch was announced for Japan, North America, and Europe. Remember the shortage of PS2’s for the first six months after launch? Yeah, good luck with that Sony.

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Drive Me Crazy: Red (and Yellow) Lights Are More Than Colorful Decorations

Editor’s Note: I can’t take it anymore. I’ve lived in the Columbia area for over eight months now, and I can’t remain silent any longer. Columbia drivers should be studied for their unprecedented levels of retardation. Who taught Columbia residents how to drive? Stevie Wonder? Radio? Billy Joel? Does the governor need to require mandatory psychiatric tests for all Columbia drivers? To help with the ongoing problem, Colaspot proudly presents Drive Me Crazy, an ongoing driver’s education series. Midlands drivers might not be able to read stop signs, but hopefully they can read this life-saving series.

I understand the red lights in the Columbia area (especially downtown) can take longer than a Peter Jackson movie, but that doesn’t mean drivers should ignore them. A yellow light means caution or yield. After a yellow light has been yellow for several seconds and is about to turn red, it’s generally a bad idea to keep going through the intersection. After the light turns red, there is not a ten second grace period that allows you to keep going.

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The Empire Strikes Back

Where I come from, people refer to Wal-Mart as Wally World. Example: “Hey, I feel like being subjected to inhumane conditions, enduring horrendous customer service, and destroying small businesses, all so I can save six cents; so I’m going to Wally World!” If my memory serves me correctly, Wally World was also the Griswold family’s theme park destination in National Lampoon’s Vacation. As far as I know, Wal-Mart never tried to stop the movie’s producers from using Wally World, so how come the Satan-powered retail giant is trying to stop this man? For those of you who are frightened by links to news stories, a Georgia man has filed a lawsuit against Wal-Mart because the soul-sucking chain has filed a cease-and-desist order to stop him from printing his I (love) Wal-ocaust” t-shirts. Combining Wal-Mart with the name of the systematic state-sponsored persecution and genocide of the Jews? Non-offensive and hilarious! While some of you who share this clever wordsmith’s seething hatred for Wal-Mart might be outraged, this story is nothing compared to my legal battle with Denny’s. After receiving an abysmal Grand Slam Breakfast a few years back, I started a Denny’s boycott with t-shirts that said “Stop the Dennocide.” Well, I can admit defeat. Wal-ocaust is much better, as it refers to a specific genocide of a particular group of people. Kudos, sir.

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