Oh how they laughed when you first came into the world! They laughed and said your concept was too weird, too gimmicky. Sony laughed the loudest. “Look at the freakazoid handheld that can’t play movies or music! N64 graphics? We’re somewhere between a PS1 and PS2! What a simpleton!” Yet here we are a year later. Do you hear Sony saying anything now? Sure, you might hear some muffled coughing. That’s to be expected when your competition chokes on their own words.

Yeah, they called you clunky and insisted on pointing out you weren’t as sleek. But look at you now, baby boy! I’m so proud! You’re selling better worldwide, and you have a much better library of games. What do you want me to play on you tonight? Mario Kart? Castlevania? WarioWare? Nintendogs? I know you’ll choose Animal Crossing in a few weeks. If your first year was this good, I can’t wait to see how you’ll blossom into a mature system! Thank you for proving it’s not all about graphics and expensive technology; it’s about the gameplay. And even though you’re more popular on the playground, don’t kick dirt onto the PSP’s screen. You’re bigger than that. Besides, they just resort to name calling because they’re jealous and frightened of your popularity. Happy first birthday!